An unfisnished list of things I am thankful for

Thanksgiving is the best holiday. I think everyone should start recognizing this as a fact . Why? Because, everyone gets together and eats together. That's it. Not too much pressure there. I honestly think it's better than Christmas. Don't get me wrong I like Christmas, but there is a lot of pressure that comes with the holiday. The second Thanksgiving ends, everyone's thoughts float somewhere around "I have to get this person a gift, and this person and that person and that person" and it becomes a race against time. Not to mention, its expensive. I wish I could buy everyone a gift but, student loans exist. Regardless, I love to give gifts and see a person's reaction to it. I take my time with gifts because I want it to be perfect for that person. It's very stressful to be thoughtful.

Christmas has been made into a commercial holiday and although the underlying message of Christmas is NOT about gifts, its become the primary focus. How else do you explain Black Friday? On one day everyone is so thankful for everything they have but the day directly after, they're fighting for the last flat screen TV.  Its crazy when you think about the juxtaposition of Black Friday and Thanksgiving. They put the word 'sale' in front of a number and give you "one day" and mayhem ensues. I was in Target earlier this week (no surprise there) and everything was already 40% off. It'll probably be the same on Friday. Not to mention, that if you happen to bring someone along to Christmas at this point in your life, you're basically married or engaged in the eyes of your family. If you're solo, the probing begins.

Anyways, I don't say or acknowledge the things I am thankful for nearly enough. You won't see me post about the current happenings of my life too often. I don't like to post every detail on social media. I don't like to over-share. I also don't like over-sharers. Over sharers need to stop making it a point to tell everyone, everything, every second. Go live. For me, I'm just trying to stay focused on the present rather than people's reaction to it. Inevitably, I get too caught up in my own life and compare it to others. Usually when I do that, I don't stack up to where I want to be in life. I end up wanting things instead of appreciating what I have and how I got it. It's destructive so I have to remind myself to stop. In the overall scheme of things, I am very grateful for everything that has been thrown my way, it's ultimately made me a better person.

Lists make me a better person. I am big on lists because they are a simple yet incredibly beneficial tool. I make lists all the time because I love to cross things off. I love lists because they help me stay organized and help me stay focused.  It is important to make lists so you can visibly see how much you have or how much you've done.

So, here's an unfinished list in no particular order, of things I have or have attained thus far that I am thankful for:

• My mother because I'm a bitch to her sometimes but she still loves me. She gets it, she knows I'm figuring it out.
• My father because he understands me and he has always supported me.
• Both my parents for valuing creativity before anything else
• My family because they're always proud of me even though I don't call them enough
• My grandma especially because shes 88 and has more of a social life and is more active than most people my age
• My little street cat because when I found the little fluff ball under my deck I had no idea what I was doing or how to bottle-feed a kitten
• My friends who are scattered all over the country and globe. Each relationship is incredibly different and for the most part, separate from the other. I do not have a set group of friends, I have a great big band of misfits and I wouldn't have it any other way. 
• For the above reasons, my bridal party will be EPIC.
• My little apartment because its perfect and its mine and I love it. 
• Small spaces hold heat better. Like my apartment. Yay small spaces.
• Living on my own which has taught me how to accept how weird I am
• My TV which was received as a gift. I am thankful for gifts.
• The city of Providence because it has opened my eyes to so many different walks of life, people, ideas, and of course, food. You won't find what it has to offer if you aren't patient enough to look for it and I love that about this city.
• Pecha Kucha because it is one of the coolest things that goes on in Providence. Look it up.
• Books. Turning pages. I'm thankful that there are people like me who feel that electronic books will never replace real books.
• Harry Potter. No, not the movies. Those are OK. The actual books. The adventurous, intricate, sometimes dark and twisted, books. Thank you J.K. Rowling.
• My health. I'm glad I'm doing alright.
• Cable and internet so I can connect to the world from my couch
• Crisp air and warm sun. Fall. Autumn. October.
• Autumn colors
• Football
• Scarves. Sweaters. Sweater Scarves.
• Living near the ocean. I have no idea how people live in middle America..like why?
• My bed because its cozy and not too big
• The ability to raise one eyebrow at a time
• Coffee. Good, strong coffee.
• My little red couch because it was my first adult purchase that I negotiated.
• Tapas bars because they remind me of Spain
• Spain. For changing my outlook on life.
• Sweatpants. Big baggy sweatpants.
• My job because its not what I want to do forever, but its teaching me about more about myself more than I originally planned.
• Also, income is nice.
• Wine. Beer. Legally drinking. Cocktails. Whiskey. I get it now, bars are important.
• Target because it has everything I want in one place
• Big mugs that take two hands
• Big mugs full of coffee
• Coffee shops
• Book stores
• Coffee shops inside bookstores
• Being able to go to the bathroom with the door open
• CHOCOLATE
• Dark chocolate
• Hot chocolate 
• Chocolate 
• Art of any kind that makes you think
• EMINEM because he is brilliant
• Words. Written words. Spoken words. Vocabulary.
• Music of any kind that makes you stop and listen
• The gym and my personal trainer for getting my mind right along with my body
• Dimly lit social settings. "Dinner lighting" or whatever you call it. 
• People watching
• Humans of New York
• Jurassic Park. One of the best movies of all time.
• Maps. Not for directions, for decoration. 
• Turkey
• Gravy
• Mashed potatoes
• STUFFING
• Cranberry sauce
• Cheat days

It's funny how in the process of making a list, you continually remember to add things to it. Things you forgot about pop up and spark other things. Lists are important and I encourage everyone to make one to jog their own memory. Happy Thanksgiving, I hope everyone is able to enjoy this day.

Peaches

So. I've been inspired. Something has come across my line of vision and sparked an urge to profess my thoughts on the current matter. I've decided to take the time and effort to craft a post because I feel it is my civic duty to do so. WHAT in the WORLD has thrown me into such a tailspin of thoughtful activity???



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Kim Kardashian's ass.

Look familiar?

You really didn't see that coming? We just landed some space module on a comet 365 million miles away but all anyone cares about is a comet-sized booty. This country is obsessed with the material and superficial - so lets indulge shall we? I have some important points to make.

I'm sure you've seen it by now; her completely bare and bulbous behind on the cover of Paper magazine. If you haven't seen it yet, I'm sure it's only a matter of seconds before you do. You almost have to admire her, she just doesn't quit. She doesn't give a damn if you like it or not, you're still going to look at it. Now, let's talk about how people are reacting solely to her body...


 .........Cue the self righteous, judgemental and overly opinionated!

"UGH I CANT STAND KIM!!!!"
"YOU FAT SLUT"
"Kim Kardashian is such a WHORE omg!!!"
"What a shameful human being"
"YOU are a MOTHER, stop being a WHORE"
"Kim is such a slut"


I may be coming out of left field with this, but can someone explain to me how she's a slut?
No, seriously. Can someone give me actual valid reasons as to why she's such a slut? Go ahead, entertain me. I'm going to do something against the grain right now and argue the opposite.

Listen, I'm not a huge Kim K advocate. Yes, I think she is physically attractive, but to me she is generally annoying. She literally possesses all the qualities I aggressively avoid when prospecting any type of new relationship with a person. However, I don't consider her a slut because she made a sex-tape or that she shows off her body. I just don't see how a sex-tape (which she made in private with her then-boyfriend who released it without her consent), qualifies her as a stone-cold whore. It makes no sense. When asked why she did it, her answer was simply "Because I felt like it".... Woa! Ring the alarm! SLUT!!! (Sarcasm level: 100).


Here's a fun fact: these condemned "slutty" acts happen in private all the time. Men and women take pictures in their underwear. Men and women send pictures to their boyfriends/girlfriends. Men and women post naked pictures all over the internet. Guys, unfortunately, send dick pics. Couples make videos together for their own enjoyment. It's not unheard of, or new for that matter.

I can just hear it now:

"OMG I don't do stuff like that, thats disgusting."

Sigh.

Sexuality exists. It's a real thing, so people need to calm down with their judgements. Stop slapping a negative label on a person's sexuality just because you don't know how to handle it or it makes you uncomfortable. Another person's private life is none of your business. Besides, the amazing amount of profane sexuality I see from social media and all the popular "bro-blogs" alone put Kim to shame. I feel like I'm living in a modern day Scarlet Letter. All people are capable of arguing is that she's most definitely a whore because she posed naked in a magazine................

......Newsflash! Websites and magazines gravitate towards people and products that produce higher sales and consumer traffic (Gasp!).  Her body has become an icon, therefore she is a selling point for any brand. It's a business deal and it's all about marketing. People now tell her what to do so they can make money off her status. If you think it's just her running the show, deciding how "slutty" she can be, you're sorely mistaken. Everything is business; money talks and guess what sells? Sex. You can count on everyone at Paper magazine receiving a nice Christmas bonus. Kim's actions are all relative to her lifestyle. Here's an idea: stop using Kim as a soap-box to voice your own, skewed moral standards about what it means to live the "correct" lifestyle.

Here's another, more important idea people need to consider: Smaller, petite celebrities strip down all the time and the reaction is completely and totally different. When slimmer celebrities strip down, it's "sexy", "beautiful" and "artistic" and no one seems to have a problem with it. Keira Knightly just posed completely topless in an effort to empower women to liberate themselves and everyone seems to be generally inspired by her naked, flat chest. On the flip side, when someone curvier puts their body on display, they are "tacky" and "slutty" or most definitely photoshopped. How in the world could a women's body ever be larger than a size 6?? Photoshop. Obviously. People then go on to make degrading comments geared toward her body - did I miss something? Is something wrong with being proud of your body when you're not thin, don't have a thigh gap, or a flat chest?

Kim's naked photos have also sparked some interesting and confusing reactions from the feminist community.  Feminists fight tooth-and-nail so women can have full, decisive control over their bodies. However, when a woman is actually given that freedom, there's a problem. I feel like I live in constant contradiction; Feminists have parades where they walk around topless to prove that women can do what they want BUT, Kim shouldn't pose topless. You know what else? There is a real line of bathing suits with images of breasts on the triangle tops so women can "free the nipple" in order to be more liberated. BUT when Kim says 'fuck it' and goes nude, everyone gets their panties in a bunch and calls her a whore. I'm confused, didn't you want this freedom? Oh, you only wanted it for skinny women? Or less attractive women? or less famous women? Someone explain.

It's obviously because Kim has more, all around real-estate, than most. Her body is recognizable. My concern is the general reaction to Kim when she has clothes on because it is the exact same reaction as to when they're off. Any time she wears something body contouring or even remotely fitted, the slut-police chime in. She has a curvy body and clothes fit her differently than other women. Just because clothing hugs her body and exposes her curves doesn't mean shes a slut but I hear it all the time. "What a whore" when she's wearing a long black dress or jeans.... wait, what?

As a woman who has never been petite or super thin, the reaction people have to this body type stays at the back of my mind. At a young age you start associating the thicker body image with 'fat' and 'bad' because it's viewed as 'slutty' or 'trashy' as you get older. It takes women a very long time to appreciate their own bodies and not feel ashamed when they don't look a certain way, I know this feeling first hand. Now I appreciate that I won't ever be thin in a particular way and that buying jeans will suck forever.  I'm not complaining either, but I used to. And I know that thin women get picked on just for being thin, but I really don't think it compares to when people see your body and automatically place your personality and mentality in the 'stupid-whore' category because you need a little more support than just a training bra.

This body-shaming really needs to get under control and stop being biased toward the body type that society has deemed the most acceptable. People also need to start understanding that just because a person's body is theoretically sexualized, it does not define who they are as a person. You are not a "slut" because you have curves. Everyone is always putting their own opinions on blast all over social media, saying that they are "accepting" and " love everyone equally" ... oh really?

People don't realize that their "slut-shaming" doesn't affect the celebrity. They don't hear you!  You affect the people around you. Your opinions affect the people who may associate themselves to someone more famous. Representation MATTERS. Thick,  muscular, curvy - whatever it is -  It doesn't make you feel good to hear people saying Kim looks like a slut when she's wearing jeans and a tank top because of the way her body looks.  I wear those things, are you indirectly calling me a slut? So when you see a curvier girl in a bathing suit or a dress, is your first thought that she looks trashy? So what's acceptable then? That cute shapeless tee is out of the question or else I'll look like a traveling circus tent. So what do I wear? Riddle me that.

Learn to recognize and appreciate that there are different body types. Learn what it actually means to be a whore and what relativity means in terms of your life versus the life a celebrity. Being a celebrity isn't an excuse for certain behavior, but what they are contractually obligated to do in order to get paid is a whole different ball game. Calm down. And, if you don't like Kim's ass then stop looking at it and go find a hobby.


End rant.

Autobiographical.

Selfie Culture

Facebook turned 10 last week. Think about that for a second. Facebook is ten years old. Dammit. Already? I remember when I first signed up back in high school. I didn't even want one, I had a Myspace back then and I loved and tended to it everyday like a little cyber puppy. I had it perfected too: all my pictures and quotes and other bullshit I used to think was important was all organized to my adolescent-self's desires... All the stuff I immediately forgot about once I got a Facebook.

Remember Myspace? The OG Facebook?? Don't you even dare sit there and pretend you are superior to Myspace, I know you had one. And you had thumbnails and those avatar things and song lyrics in your "About Me" ... well I did at least (stop judging). You know what creeps me out a little bit? I'm pretty sure I still have a Myspace somewhere in cyberspace. I remember trying to cancel the damn thing so many times but I'm not sure it ever actually listened to me. I remember it not letting me or wanting to verify that I just hit 'cancel account' like 45 times. "Are you sure?" It would ask. "Yes Myspace. There is just too much distance between us now" and just like that, I abandoned it on the side of the internet road and jumped ship to the Book.

Think about the last 10 years of your life as Facebook took over and made you a slave to the internet. Dammit Zuckerberg you stupid, brilliant asshole. I'm sure for it's 10th birthday, Facebook will rearrange itself for the 678th time and piss off the world... until we all get used to it and use it regardless of how much we actually hate it. How often do you say you hate Facebook? I say it or think it at least once a day. We are all trapped in a one way relationship with FB but it helps us stay connected with people so we deal...and it gives me something to do at 1am when I'm binge watching Mad Men.

I don't actually hate Facebook. No one does no matter how much they say it. However, I do hate how the older generation uses it as a scapegoat and points fingers at us for being lazy and narcissistic. They label us as lazy kids who do nothing but take "selfies" and post them on the internet. Slow down there. Everyone loves to take pictures of themselves. Who doesn't take selfies? I do it, my mom does it, everyone does it. It's whatever. Its normal. But of course there are those people out there who abuse the selfie privilege and you see their face every other second: 

"Omg starbucks!"
"Omg water!"
"Omg its so windy"
"Omg kisses!"
"OMG going out!!"
"Omg going to work"
"Going grocery shopping!!"
"Taking a walk"
"Omg breathing!"

Stop it.

However, this blog is not to argue that "selfies" are wrong (ooo curveball). No, quite the opposite. I am here to defend my generation. It's not our fault that Myspace and Facebook put selfie culture on the fast track to your newsfeed. It's not our fault that we love to take pictures of ourselves. It's our ancestors.......Yes. You read that correctly. I blame our ancestors. I blame history, because history repeats itself and we should have seen this coming.

Let me set the record straight - "Selfies" are nothing new. Now, I know you must be thinking "What could you possibly mean"? Let me put this way: When you walk through a museum and you're going "ooh and ahh" over all those beautiful portraits of historical figures....what do you think you're looking at? THOSE ARE SELFIES....Museums are selfie warehouses.

Woa.

I know. Mind blowing. All those paintings and revered portraits are commissioned selfies at that. That means those people paid artists to paint them. Do you know how long it takes to paint someone?? Hours. Days. Sometimes months. Nevermind the scenery and other background information. This means that people would stand still for hours at a time to have someone paint a pretty picture of them. The selfies of the past took more time and artistic talent to create but they are selfies nonetheless. AND, these people paid for them. Instagram is free! Had Instagram existed way back when, you know Queen Elizabeth would snap a pic and be like "Just beheaded a peasant"! (this is probably historically inaccurate, but for the sake of the joke I don't care...laugh with me peasants!)

Today, taking a selfie takes all of but 4 seconds, so obviously there are more of them popping up all over the place. Unless of course you retake a picture of yourself 100 times to make sure the lighting and the angle of your butt is in the most flattering position; then it could take upwards of 10 to 15 minutes (we're all guilty, stop lying). BUT you don't think kings and queens had their artists paint them in better light? To be taller? Thinner? More attractive? Wearing better clothes? Please. I studied art history. I know things.

So my argument here is the selfie is nothing new, it has just evolved over time. So stop telling me that I'm doing something wrong. Leave me alone. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't support the 3-times-a-day-duck-face-selfie-machine but stop making me feel guilty for something that has been passed down through history. I take, maybe, 20 seconds out of my day to take the occasional selfie then I'm off to work. I'm not obsessed with myself - I just happen look exceptionally good today and this lighting is fantastic. Snap. You know what I'm not doing? Standing in one spot for three hours at time so someone can take a picture of me, I got shit to do. I'm not lazy and neither is the majority of my generation. We're just different (to the selfie over-loaders, take a chill pill, you're making the rest of us look bad). In conclusion all I have to say is, give it 100 years and my Instagram selfies will be chillin' right next to the Mona Lisa (sup girl).

Found this pic on Instagram. More than appropriate.

Super Rich Kids

So I was watching E! late night after work and this awful show came on called "#The Rich Kids of Beverly Hills"

......Yes. The hastag is part of the show title (Ugh)

If that name alone doesn't instantly make you want to vomit, then maybe this blog post isn't for you. This show basically follows these rich, entitled brats around and shows the world how ridiculous they are. They are loaded beyond words and have so much money that I wouldn't even want that much because...what the fuck can you do with it all? Well, if you're fantastic at being poor maybe this show is for you since it shows you all of the USELESS things you can waste your money on when you have money to burn.

So the show follows these people around and all they do is go shopping incessantly. They spend upwards of 450,000 dollars on one trip alone, sometimes one thing.....Why? I am literally watching the show and I still don't understand why you would want a 450,000 watch. Does it wipe your ass for you when you go to the bathroom? That might be worth it. You seriously can't find anything better to buy? They throw these huge, lavish parties and complain about the choices of champagne (meanwhile poor folk rip shots of whiskey at the local bar). They own yachts, and penthouses and private planes. They travel around and buy things they don't need and all they get out of it is boredom.

One scene was of one of the girls working out with her 1000$ a day personal trainer (I'm in the wrong business) and all she did the entire time she was "working out" was either complain about her sweating or her camel toe while she did every single move wrong. Like the moves she was doing? They were moves you do in warm up in preschool. Then the show cut to her talking about how shes "Just neurotic and she can't help it! ha ha hah!" Uh, NO sweetheart, You are not "neurotic" you're just dumb. Then she compared picking out a nail design to applying to college...case and point.

The moment I decided I was done with the show was when these two girls were trying to make sangria and one girl says and I quote "I've never opened my own wine bottle before" ....................is this real life? They didn't know how to use a wine opener.... Listen. If you are a woman and you are at least 25 years old and you have never opened your own wine bottle on your own before, then god be with you (in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Beyonce). The next scene was of the two friends talking about how opening a wine bottle is "liiike, the hardest thing everrrr".... THEN they Instagrammed a picture of her holding "her first wine cork" ........Like, grow the fuck up that is embarrassing. The rest of us are polishing off a bottle laughing at you.

Let's think about these people for a second - They all (pretty much) live at home with their parents because that's who gave them all this money. They spend an obscene amount of time and energy into having all the best things, and for what?? To be able to say that they can? Don't all rich kids do the same thing? You have Tuscan marble everywhere? How original. You own everything Prada? So amazing. Want to know why there is such a fierce competition between all the rich kids of Instagram? It's to prove who has more money. Why? Because they have nothing else to show for themselves. They're all dim and have no common sense or appreciation for anything because they can literally buy a new version of whatever they need. I bet none of them could figure out how to change a lightbulb, because why would they need to? They pay people to do that for them. That's probably the extent of the emergencies they've ever faced.

Their lifestyle actually sounds painfully boring to me. These people do not know how to do a thing on their own and have ZERO imagination.  Everything in their life was handed to them for free. They just spend money and take up space while they Instagram everything they do. Like you're rich, that's cool but no one cares except you and your rich friends...so why do you have TV show? After watching them I decided that I'd rather hang out with a wet towel. At least the towel and I would be able to have a real conversation.

I don't need to be rich. I'm actually excellent at being poor. How? Because 1.) I'm smart and 2.) I don't buy useless shit. I am excellent at being poor. What does that mean? Let me explain. I am totally fine with clothes from TJ maxx and shopping in the clearance aisle (tell me you don't) . No high maintenance here. If you walk with confidence and you look good, does the label even matter? Not really actually. If you're a decent person, people can see. If you're pretty much a piece of shit, there isn't really a label to cover that. You know what is really impressive? Making clothes from Target look like they're designer. Put me on TV, I'll show you how it's done.

My mom and very Italian grandmother taught me how to live modestly and be very self sufficient. I know you people out there who know exactly what it means to have a strong italian women in your life. My grandmother would beat the shit out of those Beverly Hills assholes (she's 85 by the way). They made me fend for myself sometimes so I had no choice but to learn. I'm so glad they taught me to be like this too. I wouldn't have it any other way because now I know for sure that I'm not an idiot. I see some kids today who don't know how to do  anything for themselves and I'm just like, "how did this happen"?  like really? you can't cook? How hard is it to boil water? to follow instructions?

People should understand how to appreciate things. I think about things before I do them because that's what I was taught. Everyone should be taught to think more because its shocking how many people don't. I know some people, that if they ever won the lottery, they'd probably be broke in five years. I bet you do too. Hell no. Not I. I would be the best millionaire ever. For now though, I don't have obscene wealth and you know what? I'm cool with it, I'll get there. This stupid show actually made me realize how happy I am with what I have and and proud of what I have achieved so far because it actually has value. So here's to the people out there hustling hard everyday, building their own life. I salute you my brothers and sisters.

Girls are Crazy and Other Life Lessons

So back in March of last year I decided it would be a brilliant idea to start a blog. I had all these ideas for it and lists of topics to "blog" about. I was excited, I would think to myself "yes finally I have an outlet where I can say whatever I want about anything...I'm funny, maybe I'll even get famous!" When I wrote "the secret life of your waitress" and people kept sharing it and talking to me about it, I thought for sure I was heading down the "internet sensation" road. I obviously had delusions of grandeur seeing that its the end of January of 2014 and I'm still a full time waitress and a part time career woman and I'm not famous...yet. Whatever. But now I finally have time to sit down and sort my thoughts out.


The point of this comeback blog is this: I had a very interesting past summer. I had a lot of drama, work issues and financial problems among other things happen to me over the last few months. I'm not going to point fingers but I am going to share what I learned because I definitely learned a lot. I grew up. Not by choice but because I had to keep my head above water. I learned a lot about myself and about other people. I'm still learning but I feel some people can take valuable lessons out of everything I went through. Some of it's stupid little things but some things are important. As humans we're inherently selfish meaning we sometimes forget to pay attention to the little details of other people's lives. We don't realize how important they are until you've already neglected them. So here is a list of all the lessons that unfolded before me and for my loyal followers you know I like a good list. Prepare yourselves for some real life...via the internet:



#1 // Girls are crazy

We are. 100% fact. I will be the first girl to say that my gender is nuts. I embrace it. We all need to embrace it and stop fighting it. Just let it happen because it's going to anyways. Like, don't tell me I'm acting crazy and irrational, I already know that. Just tell me everything will be OK so I can calm my hormones. Its actually not fair how crazy we are AND its pretty much a biological guarantee. We get moody and emotional because we are extra hormonal. Not to mention, as women we are the biological the caretakers because, children or not, we have maternal instincts (some more than others). What does that mean exactly? It means we are usually doing 100 things at once because it's in our nature to maintain and take care of everything around us, wondering why no one else can do it because no one else thinks to do it (ladies we're always in charge, don't forget). Then there's PMS which amplifies anything and everything that has ever bothered you and puts it right in your eye for you to get pissed about. Then there's the fact that we over-think things and over-analyze way too much and in all actuality, we drive ourselves insane. Oh no no no, guys you're not off the hook. We drive ourselves insane because of you (mostly). Its either men driving us crazy or other crazy women who make us crazy (try to keep up).

Women are crazy but men are stupid. I don't mean this as an insult to a man's intelligence I mean it in a sense that men are stupid when it comes to women. We think about things way too much and guys don't think about things nearly enough. The slack in-between is what guys don't realize is there and causes girls to go nuts. "Why didn't you think this or feel that!?" ... um because he had no idea he was supposed to. There's such a communication gap between men and woman that its amazing how we even procreate to  continue our species. Women are so specific with details in the bigger picture while men have tunnel vision to one tiny corner of it. Its not even their fault, they don't even know they do it. As women though we expect them to know whats wrong at all times but they don't so in turn we go crazy. If its not spelled out word for word, they just continue to piss us off. Then we get crazy. Its just the way of the world. Eventually you will find someone who you are compatible with on a right level of crazy and everyone calls it love.


Lesson #2 // Always trust your gut

How obvious right? "ooo trust your gut, how original" ....I know. Cliche. Boo hoo. Its true and we consistently choose to ignore our "gut instinct" far too much. Because I didn't trust my gut, I ended up in a not so great living situation and that's where everything started to go downhill. If you have a bad feeling about something, or you're uneasy, or it's a "maybe" or you keep going back and forth about whether or not you want to do it...just don't do it. The amount of thought you're putting into a situation like that is to actually convince yourself to do it. This has nothing to do with not taking a leap of faith either. Because in those instances you know its dangerous but you still want to do whatever it is. When your gut is telling you something is a bad idea, its probably right so you should listen to yourself. We are so busy listening to other people and looking for answers when we usually have the right ones tucked away in the back of our own mind.



Lesson #3 // Dogs are people too

This is important. It may seem stupid but its not, its actually very important because how you treat your dog says a lot about you. If you are about to get a dog or a puppy, be prepared to put in as much work in with that animal as you would with a child. Just because a dog doesn't walk on two legs doesn't mean it doesn't deserve the same type of care as a human. They should be feed daily on somewhat of a consistent schedule, taken out consistently and played with consistently. They should not be left alone too long or ignored or locked in a crate for long periods at a time. Think of them as people - if you treat your kid like an asshole, that kid is going to grow up to be an asshole. If you're going to raise a dog like an asshole, that dog is be an asshole too. Raise your dog right so it doesn't end up neglected or become a burden and taken away. If you can't handle all that responsibility, don't get a dog. Simple as that. Can barely take care of yourself? Then you shouldn't have a dog. Having a dog and liking the idea of having a dog are very different feelings. Do not mix them up.



Lesson #4 // Be considerate

This is tough one because its a really broad statement to make. You need to stop focusing so much on yourself and look around, even if its for a second, and see how your actions are affecting other people. Everyone is different. Everyone has their own right and wrongs and they will do things the way they want to do them. That's fine. Do you. But don't ignore the way other people do things too. Just because you do something one way, doesn't mean its the right way. Doesn't mean its wrong either, it just different. Take other people into consideration. Take their way of doing things into consideration. They're not wrong and neither are you- you're just different and it is wrong to ignore the differences.



Lesson #5 // Stop trying to be perfect

This one was big for me. I'm somewhat of a perfectionist and my own worst critic. I tend to not always think highly of myself and in turn, I bring myself down. Its not healthy. Stop trying to have that perfect life you think you should have. What you have now? That's what you have. Simple as that. So stop looking past it and live it now and make it work. Everything that happens right now, in the present- the problems, the failures, the ups and the downs- that is life. It's already happening. Stop waiting for it to get better. Stop waiting for it to turn around. The only person who can turn it around is you and the only way its going to turn around is if you stop looking at life negatively. My mom once said this to me and it has been bouncing around in my head ever since it came out of her mouth...you ready? Here it goes: "You attract what you are". Think about that statement for a hot second. Let me repeat: you attract what you are. (my mother is my grandmother willow tree and I am Pocahontas). If you are happy and outgoing and positive, those things and people will be attracted to you. If you miserable and upset and unhappy about everything in your life, then those things will continue to come your way. Be what you want to be, even if you're not completely there yet because eventually you will catch up with yourself. I hope that makes sense.



Lesson #6 // Don't be afraid of your feelings

I see a lot of people throughout the day (See "the secret life of your waitress"). No but seriously I see a lot of people who are stuck in unhappy situations. They're stuck in them because they're afraid to make a change. Instead they force themselves to keep doing what they're doing so they don't either cause problems or hurt someone's feelings and what not. Whether its a job, a living situation, a relationship, a gym membership, your sandwich - if you don't like it, then stop it. "Yeah but I paid for it" or "but we've been together for so long and we have all the same friends" or "I'm just not going to say anything I don't want to cause problems, it will blow over" .... If you don't like something, or you are unhappy with something, why are you going to suppress how you feel? Don't be afraid to make a change for yourself. I know its not easy. I am in no way saying that its easy to stop doing something you've been doing or are used to.What I am saying is this: Don't ignore yourself solely for the sake of other people. Pay attention to yourself first and foremost. Be considerate to others, but put yourself first. Listen to your feelings.  We feel them for a reason, feelings are meant to be felt (surprise!). Share them. Speak up. Make moves. Stop sitting in the dark. And you know what else? If you love something, or are happy about something or for someone, tell them. Feel those good feelings too. and share them because they're are contagious and people like to know when they make you feel good.



Lesson #7 // Drink more water

You're probably like "where the hell did that come from?" Yeah it's kind of random but still important. I went on this health kick where I was drinking measured amounts of water throughout the day so I drank at least a gallon a day. And you know what? I felt awesome. Its not that hard to do; carry a water bottle around and just drink water. It brightens your skin, wakes you up and flushes out your system. I'm telling you I felt great and I felt the difference. I haven't been good with my diet recently and I feel the difference - I don't feel as healthy. All the coffee and soda and whatever else people drink dehydrates you. We need a lot of water and too many people don't drink enough and its not good for your body. Water helps regulate your system. It prevents you from over-eating too. You know how you get hungry when you're bored? You're probably just thirsty and a little dehydrated. Drink water, it does the body good. A gallon is ideal but a couple bottles here and there will make you feel a world of difference I promise. Toss out that candy crap and soda shit and drink some water, it'll help clear your head.




Lesson #8 // Take a Walk

I lived in Madrid for almost 5 months and I walked EVERYWHERE. I lived an hour away from my school and had to take the metro which was a 45 min commute. I had to walk to the stop, all through the stations to connect to different trains and from the stop to the actual school. In between stops I would sometimes get off and explore the area surrounding that metro stop. I would walk from the center of town where all the stops meet and walk around to the stores and walk through the parks. I literally was always walking. The first two weeks I lived there, my feet and legs were sore. Then I got used to it. Then it never even crossed my mind when I walked somewhere. I came back to the states and I realized people hardly walk anywhere unless its in a city. Even if its around the corner.

People complain when they have to walk for more than 10 minutes. Not to mention the amount of concern people show for you when they see you walking is hilarious ..."hey are you ok!? Why are you on the side of the road, do you need a ride somewhere?" ...Uh no I'm fine, This is a sidewalk and I'm just using these things I've got here called legs, breathing in the air outside of my house. Strange, I know. When I was walking a lot I lost a lot of weight but more importantly I learned to slow down. I was in a healthier state of mind and body. I love to drive but sometimes it makes me crazy and slightly aggressive (see my post about road rage...and bumper stickers). Walking helps you slow down physically and mentally. You can stop and enjoy the sights, see things from angles you wouldn't necessarily experience or see at all in a moving vehicle. I moved to Providence and I walk around a lot and now I see all these cool little things like art pieces and posters and stores that I would normally pass right by at 20mph (lets be real, at least 35mph). You smell different things, you feel different things when you walk around; you experience more. I can close my eyes and walk around Madrid better than I could Providence, but I'm working on it. Take a walk and learn something. Better yet, feel something. (obviously its frigid outside right now so by all means don't move, but eventually, go outside.)




I didn't mean for this to be this long or serious but I had a lot I wanted to say and I needed to get it all out. So these are some things that I learned and re-learned recently. Some are obvious lessons we are taught throughout life but we don't really realize what their importance is until its happening; sometimes we need reminder.