Selfie Culture

Facebook turned 10 last week. Think about that for a second. Facebook is ten years old. Dammit. Already? I remember when I first signed up back in high school. I didn't even want one, I had a Myspace back then and I loved and tended to it everyday like a little cyber puppy. I had it perfected too: all my pictures and quotes and other bullshit I used to think was important was all organized to my adolescent-self's desires... All the stuff I immediately forgot about once I got a Facebook.

Remember Myspace? The OG Facebook?? Don't you even dare sit there and pretend you are superior to Myspace, I know you had one. And you had thumbnails and those avatar things and song lyrics in your "About Me" ... well I did at least (stop judging). You know what creeps me out a little bit? I'm pretty sure I still have a Myspace somewhere in cyberspace. I remember trying to cancel the damn thing so many times but I'm not sure it ever actually listened to me. I remember it not letting me or wanting to verify that I just hit 'cancel account' like 45 times. "Are you sure?" It would ask. "Yes Myspace. There is just too much distance between us now" and just like that, I abandoned it on the side of the internet road and jumped ship to the Book.

Think about the last 10 years of your life as Facebook took over and made you a slave to the internet. Dammit Zuckerberg you stupid, brilliant asshole. I'm sure for it's 10th birthday, Facebook will rearrange itself for the 678th time and piss off the world... until we all get used to it and use it regardless of how much we actually hate it. How often do you say you hate Facebook? I say it or think it at least once a day. We are all trapped in a one way relationship with FB but it helps us stay connected with people so we deal...and it gives me something to do at 1am when I'm binge watching Mad Men.

I don't actually hate Facebook. No one does no matter how much they say it. However, I do hate how the older generation uses it as a scapegoat and points fingers at us for being lazy and narcissistic. They label us as lazy kids who do nothing but take "selfies" and post them on the internet. Slow down there. Everyone loves to take pictures of themselves. Who doesn't take selfies? I do it, my mom does it, everyone does it. It's whatever. Its normal. But of course there are those people out there who abuse the selfie privilege and you see their face every other second: 

"Omg starbucks!"
"Omg water!"
"Omg its so windy"
"Omg kisses!"
"OMG going out!!"
"Omg going to work"
"Going grocery shopping!!"
"Taking a walk"
"Omg breathing!"

Stop it.

However, this blog is not to argue that "selfies" are wrong (ooo curveball). No, quite the opposite. I am here to defend my generation. It's not our fault that Myspace and Facebook put selfie culture on the fast track to your newsfeed. It's not our fault that we love to take pictures of ourselves. It's our ancestors.......Yes. You read that correctly. I blame our ancestors. I blame history, because history repeats itself and we should have seen this coming.

Let me set the record straight - "Selfies" are nothing new. Now, I know you must be thinking "What could you possibly mean"? Let me put this way: When you walk through a museum and you're going "ooh and ahh" over all those beautiful portraits of historical figures....what do you think you're looking at? THOSE ARE SELFIES....Museums are selfie warehouses.

Woa.

I know. Mind blowing. All those paintings and revered portraits are commissioned selfies at that. That means those people paid artists to paint them. Do you know how long it takes to paint someone?? Hours. Days. Sometimes months. Nevermind the scenery and other background information. This means that people would stand still for hours at a time to have someone paint a pretty picture of them. The selfies of the past took more time and artistic talent to create but they are selfies nonetheless. AND, these people paid for them. Instagram is free! Had Instagram existed way back when, you know Queen Elizabeth would snap a pic and be like "Just beheaded a peasant"! (this is probably historically inaccurate, but for the sake of the joke I don't care...laugh with me peasants!)

Today, taking a selfie takes all of but 4 seconds, so obviously there are more of them popping up all over the place. Unless of course you retake a picture of yourself 100 times to make sure the lighting and the angle of your butt is in the most flattering position; then it could take upwards of 10 to 15 minutes (we're all guilty, stop lying). BUT you don't think kings and queens had their artists paint them in better light? To be taller? Thinner? More attractive? Wearing better clothes? Please. I studied art history. I know things.

So my argument here is the selfie is nothing new, it has just evolved over time. So stop telling me that I'm doing something wrong. Leave me alone. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't support the 3-times-a-day-duck-face-selfie-machine but stop making me feel guilty for something that has been passed down through history. I take, maybe, 20 seconds out of my day to take the occasional selfie then I'm off to work. I'm not obsessed with myself - I just happen look exceptionally good today and this lighting is fantastic. Snap. You know what I'm not doing? Standing in one spot for three hours at time so someone can take a picture of me, I got shit to do. I'm not lazy and neither is the majority of my generation. We're just different (to the selfie over-loaders, take a chill pill, you're making the rest of us look bad). In conclusion all I have to say is, give it 100 years and my Instagram selfies will be chillin' right next to the Mona Lisa (sup girl).

Found this pic on Instagram. More than appropriate.