Beach Therapy

I love the beach. Now, I know a lot of girls are always like "I loooove the beach its like my favorite place ever! I wish it was summer!" But I like it for different reasons. The steady rhythm of the waves  is soothing to me. The sound of the power behind the ocean is relaxing and I find it therapeutic. I have been irritated lately because I hate being a waitress (I have a whole other blog coming for that one) and I just want a real job. I want to have money and be able to support my life. I'm still figuring out what I even want to do. This is why I started this blog thing, to get my thoughts and frustrations out. I get down on myself because I hold myself to high standards and expectations. I'm actually too hard on myself. Anyways, when I find that I'm getting in these little ruts, I sit at the beach. I sit there and just listen. There is so much more going on that me and my problems. The ocean helps me calm down. I literally do not understand why people willing choose to live in the middle of the country. I would die. I need the ocean. It keeps me sane.
 
I have a story about beach therapy. Last year I was having a particular tough day. I was anxiety ridden, emotional from my break up and stressed out. So I went for a beach drive. As I was driving down the road I saw an older man on the side of the road picking up bottles up ahead. I noticed him and thought nothing of him......until he threw a bottle at my car as I passed him. I was shocked. I was like "did that just happen? was that accident? I'm not even going that fast!" Confusion all around. I looped around and drove by again, and slowed when I came up to the guy. I looked at him, ready to say something when he beat me to it and screamed "ASSHOLE!" I sped away to the end of the beach and parked my car and got out. There was a guy sitting on the wall in front of his car when I pulled up. I ran around my car and inspected it for any swastikas or "fuck yous" on my car that could have prompted such an angry outburst. I literally thought "like is there a swastika on my car why did he just say that?" I was upset. The icing on the cake of my fantastic day.

The man on the wall noticed my frantic search and asked in a sympathetic tone "are you OK?" At that moment, I put my hand on my hood and let a few tears fall silently to myself. My back was to him. Half crying, I whipped around and told him what happened straight out "some guy down there just threw a bottle at my car and called me an asshole. I don't even know why." Concerned, he stood up and asked "are you OK?" This strange man, who just encountered a crazed, half crying woman on the side of the road pretty much, was concerned about my well being. I let myself cry more. I told him I was fine, that I was OK and thank you. Then he did asked "whats really bothering you, are you having a bad day?"

At that I was thinking 'who even is this guy?' but I needed an outlet and I was actually having a bad day. So I told him that I was, in fact,  having a bad day. That I was stressed about school and my relationship with someone and my future. He sat there and listened, offering me advice. Saying things like "its ok you'll get through it" and "don't worry about relationships now, you're young you will figure it out" and "your future will also sort itself out, you will find a job." I swear. It wasn't weird either. He was just listening to me and having a genuinely nice conversation with me. He wasn't near me or, trying to get close or giving me any weird vibes. He was just being a good person and helping me feel better. Why did he care? I have no idea. But he did make me feel better.

After a good 20 minute conversation I decided to leave. I thanked him for listening and he said "no problem, keep your head up, you will have better days." I drove home smiling. I discovered that there are people out there who genuinely care about the well being of others. I just so happened to find one at the beach. I never saw that guy at that spot again. Was he real? Yeah definitely, but I like to think he was just a mirage or a messenger of the universe or something telling me everything will be OK. To go with the flow, just like the waves.