Girls are Crazy and Other Life Lessons

So back in March of last year I decided it would be a brilliant idea to start a blog. I had all these ideas for it and lists of topics to "blog" about. I was excited, I would think to myself "yes finally I have an outlet where I can say whatever I want about anything...I'm funny, maybe I'll even get famous!" When I wrote "the secret life of your waitress" and people kept sharing it and talking to me about it, I thought for sure I was heading down the "internet sensation" road. I obviously had delusions of grandeur seeing that its the end of January of 2014 and I'm still a full time waitress and a part time career woman and I'm not famous...yet. Whatever. But now I finally have time to sit down and sort my thoughts out.


The point of this comeback blog is this: I had a very interesting past summer. I had a lot of drama, work issues and financial problems among other things happen to me over the last few months. I'm not going to point fingers but I am going to share what I learned because I definitely learned a lot. I grew up. Not by choice but because I had to keep my head above water. I learned a lot about myself and about other people. I'm still learning but I feel some people can take valuable lessons out of everything I went through. Some of it's stupid little things but some things are important. As humans we're inherently selfish meaning we sometimes forget to pay attention to the little details of other people's lives. We don't realize how important they are until you've already neglected them. So here is a list of all the lessons that unfolded before me and for my loyal followers you know I like a good list. Prepare yourselves for some real life...via the internet:



#1 // Girls are crazy

We are. 100% fact. I will be the first girl to say that my gender is nuts. I embrace it. We all need to embrace it and stop fighting it. Just let it happen because it's going to anyways. Like, don't tell me I'm acting crazy and irrational, I already know that. Just tell me everything will be OK so I can calm my hormones. Its actually not fair how crazy we are AND its pretty much a biological guarantee. We get moody and emotional because we are extra hormonal. Not to mention, as women we are the biological the caretakers because, children or not, we have maternal instincts (some more than others). What does that mean exactly? It means we are usually doing 100 things at once because it's in our nature to maintain and take care of everything around us, wondering why no one else can do it because no one else thinks to do it (ladies we're always in charge, don't forget). Then there's PMS which amplifies anything and everything that has ever bothered you and puts it right in your eye for you to get pissed about. Then there's the fact that we over-think things and over-analyze way too much and in all actuality, we drive ourselves insane. Oh no no no, guys you're not off the hook. We drive ourselves insane because of you (mostly). Its either men driving us crazy or other crazy women who make us crazy (try to keep up).

Women are crazy but men are stupid. I don't mean this as an insult to a man's intelligence I mean it in a sense that men are stupid when it comes to women. We think about things way too much and guys don't think about things nearly enough. The slack in-between is what guys don't realize is there and causes girls to go nuts. "Why didn't you think this or feel that!?" ... um because he had no idea he was supposed to. There's such a communication gap between men and woman that its amazing how we even procreate to  continue our species. Women are so specific with details in the bigger picture while men have tunnel vision to one tiny corner of it. Its not even their fault, they don't even know they do it. As women though we expect them to know whats wrong at all times but they don't so in turn we go crazy. If its not spelled out word for word, they just continue to piss us off. Then we get crazy. Its just the way of the world. Eventually you will find someone who you are compatible with on a right level of crazy and everyone calls it love.


Lesson #2 // Always trust your gut

How obvious right? "ooo trust your gut, how original" ....I know. Cliche. Boo hoo. Its true and we consistently choose to ignore our "gut instinct" far too much. Because I didn't trust my gut, I ended up in a not so great living situation and that's where everything started to go downhill. If you have a bad feeling about something, or you're uneasy, or it's a "maybe" or you keep going back and forth about whether or not you want to do it...just don't do it. The amount of thought you're putting into a situation like that is to actually convince yourself to do it. This has nothing to do with not taking a leap of faith either. Because in those instances you know its dangerous but you still want to do whatever it is. When your gut is telling you something is a bad idea, its probably right so you should listen to yourself. We are so busy listening to other people and looking for answers when we usually have the right ones tucked away in the back of our own mind.



Lesson #3 // Dogs are people too

This is important. It may seem stupid but its not, its actually very important because how you treat your dog says a lot about you. If you are about to get a dog or a puppy, be prepared to put in as much work in with that animal as you would with a child. Just because a dog doesn't walk on two legs doesn't mean it doesn't deserve the same type of care as a human. They should be feed daily on somewhat of a consistent schedule, taken out consistently and played with consistently. They should not be left alone too long or ignored or locked in a crate for long periods at a time. Think of them as people - if you treat your kid like an asshole, that kid is going to grow up to be an asshole. If you're going to raise a dog like an asshole, that dog is be an asshole too. Raise your dog right so it doesn't end up neglected or become a burden and taken away. If you can't handle all that responsibility, don't get a dog. Simple as that. Can barely take care of yourself? Then you shouldn't have a dog. Having a dog and liking the idea of having a dog are very different feelings. Do not mix them up.



Lesson #4 // Be considerate

This is tough one because its a really broad statement to make. You need to stop focusing so much on yourself and look around, even if its for a second, and see how your actions are affecting other people. Everyone is different. Everyone has their own right and wrongs and they will do things the way they want to do them. That's fine. Do you. But don't ignore the way other people do things too. Just because you do something one way, doesn't mean its the right way. Doesn't mean its wrong either, it just different. Take other people into consideration. Take their way of doing things into consideration. They're not wrong and neither are you- you're just different and it is wrong to ignore the differences.



Lesson #5 // Stop trying to be perfect

This one was big for me. I'm somewhat of a perfectionist and my own worst critic. I tend to not always think highly of myself and in turn, I bring myself down. Its not healthy. Stop trying to have that perfect life you think you should have. What you have now? That's what you have. Simple as that. So stop looking past it and live it now and make it work. Everything that happens right now, in the present- the problems, the failures, the ups and the downs- that is life. It's already happening. Stop waiting for it to get better. Stop waiting for it to turn around. The only person who can turn it around is you and the only way its going to turn around is if you stop looking at life negatively. My mom once said this to me and it has been bouncing around in my head ever since it came out of her mouth...you ready? Here it goes: "You attract what you are". Think about that statement for a hot second. Let me repeat: you attract what you are. (my mother is my grandmother willow tree and I am Pocahontas). If you are happy and outgoing and positive, those things and people will be attracted to you. If you miserable and upset and unhappy about everything in your life, then those things will continue to come your way. Be what you want to be, even if you're not completely there yet because eventually you will catch up with yourself. I hope that makes sense.



Lesson #6 // Don't be afraid of your feelings

I see a lot of people throughout the day (See "the secret life of your waitress"). No but seriously I see a lot of people who are stuck in unhappy situations. They're stuck in them because they're afraid to make a change. Instead they force themselves to keep doing what they're doing so they don't either cause problems or hurt someone's feelings and what not. Whether its a job, a living situation, a relationship, a gym membership, your sandwich - if you don't like it, then stop it. "Yeah but I paid for it" or "but we've been together for so long and we have all the same friends" or "I'm just not going to say anything I don't want to cause problems, it will blow over" .... If you don't like something, or you are unhappy with something, why are you going to suppress how you feel? Don't be afraid to make a change for yourself. I know its not easy. I am in no way saying that its easy to stop doing something you've been doing or are used to.What I am saying is this: Don't ignore yourself solely for the sake of other people. Pay attention to yourself first and foremost. Be considerate to others, but put yourself first. Listen to your feelings.  We feel them for a reason, feelings are meant to be felt (surprise!). Share them. Speak up. Make moves. Stop sitting in the dark. And you know what else? If you love something, or are happy about something or for someone, tell them. Feel those good feelings too. and share them because they're are contagious and people like to know when they make you feel good.



Lesson #7 // Drink more water

You're probably like "where the hell did that come from?" Yeah it's kind of random but still important. I went on this health kick where I was drinking measured amounts of water throughout the day so I drank at least a gallon a day. And you know what? I felt awesome. Its not that hard to do; carry a water bottle around and just drink water. It brightens your skin, wakes you up and flushes out your system. I'm telling you I felt great and I felt the difference. I haven't been good with my diet recently and I feel the difference - I don't feel as healthy. All the coffee and soda and whatever else people drink dehydrates you. We need a lot of water and too many people don't drink enough and its not good for your body. Water helps regulate your system. It prevents you from over-eating too. You know how you get hungry when you're bored? You're probably just thirsty and a little dehydrated. Drink water, it does the body good. A gallon is ideal but a couple bottles here and there will make you feel a world of difference I promise. Toss out that candy crap and soda shit and drink some water, it'll help clear your head.




Lesson #8 // Take a Walk

I lived in Madrid for almost 5 months and I walked EVERYWHERE. I lived an hour away from my school and had to take the metro which was a 45 min commute. I had to walk to the stop, all through the stations to connect to different trains and from the stop to the actual school. In between stops I would sometimes get off and explore the area surrounding that metro stop. I would walk from the center of town where all the stops meet and walk around to the stores and walk through the parks. I literally was always walking. The first two weeks I lived there, my feet and legs were sore. Then I got used to it. Then it never even crossed my mind when I walked somewhere. I came back to the states and I realized people hardly walk anywhere unless its in a city. Even if its around the corner.

People complain when they have to walk for more than 10 minutes. Not to mention the amount of concern people show for you when they see you walking is hilarious ..."hey are you ok!? Why are you on the side of the road, do you need a ride somewhere?" ...Uh no I'm fine, This is a sidewalk and I'm just using these things I've got here called legs, breathing in the air outside of my house. Strange, I know. When I was walking a lot I lost a lot of weight but more importantly I learned to slow down. I was in a healthier state of mind and body. I love to drive but sometimes it makes me crazy and slightly aggressive (see my post about road rage...and bumper stickers). Walking helps you slow down physically and mentally. You can stop and enjoy the sights, see things from angles you wouldn't necessarily experience or see at all in a moving vehicle. I moved to Providence and I walk around a lot and now I see all these cool little things like art pieces and posters and stores that I would normally pass right by at 20mph (lets be real, at least 35mph). You smell different things, you feel different things when you walk around; you experience more. I can close my eyes and walk around Madrid better than I could Providence, but I'm working on it. Take a walk and learn something. Better yet, feel something. (obviously its frigid outside right now so by all means don't move, but eventually, go outside.)




I didn't mean for this to be this long or serious but I had a lot I wanted to say and I needed to get it all out. So these are some things that I learned and re-learned recently. Some are obvious lessons we are taught throughout life but we don't really realize what their importance is until its happening; sometimes we need reminder.